


step out of them voices

by hunnieyoonie



Category: NCT (Band), Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Friendship, Gen, au where woojin debuts with nct, mainly woojin and jungwoo being bff’s, no romance my dudes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-01 19:33:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19184230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunnieyoonie/pseuds/hunnieyoonie
Summary: eight boys haunt woojin’s dreams. as he befriends them, he sees what could have been. as time passes, he feels himself cracking.or the au where woojin debuted with nct but dreams of his life with stray kids.





	step out of them voices

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by woojin training with nct before he went to jyp. kinda ooc bc woojin cries a lot. also idk how this is gonna end so ?? wish me luck. also Imagine woojin in the fit for boss, i’m a genius.

Woojin had stuck it out with SM for so long. He had suffered through practices during holidays, disappointed phone calls with parents, and watching friends debut. But now, he was finally debuting. He felt like he could finally breathe, like he had held his breath for these past five years.

 

There had been a point where he considered leaving. He had gotten offers at JYP and Fantagio and was so tempted to leave SM. But then he got so close to Jungwoo and the other trainees, that his heart wouldn’t let him leave.

 

And now all that waiting had paid off. Tomorrow he was going to debut. He was terrified, but also thrilled that he could finally perform on stage with the other members

 

He, Jungwoo, and Lucas were making their debut with NCT U. He could barely sleep the night before the comeback stage. He heard Jungwoo rustling in the bed above and sighed. This would be a long night.

 

The stage was exhilarating. After finally getting his chance to shine, he wasn’t ready to let it go. This is what he was born to do. He felt like himself on that stage. When he sang, he didn’t think about his insecurities or failures. He just sang.

 

After the stage ended, he suddenly felt emotional, but he was able to keep the tears back. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jungwoo crying into Taeyong’s shoulder and Lucas laughing happily, eyes crinkling in joy. He wasn’t the only one overwhelmed with happiness.

 

 

He loved his fellow members of NCT, he really did. But sometimes, he felt like he didn’t quite belong. Despite being the youngest in his family, he was bad at being one of the younger members of NCT U. He was too mature, so the older members never really babied him.

 

Whenever someone younger than him looked distressed, he would move to help them, only to be beaten to it by an older member. It was hard. He didn’t know what his role was here. He wasn’t as cute as Jungwoo or as reliable as Taeyong or as handsome as Jaehyun.

 

Sometimes, Woojin would lay awake at night wondering if this was right. He would close his eyes and sleep, but visions of people would come to his mind. People he had never met or seen before. The eyes and smiles of strangers would float through his dreams until he woke up with a gasp, his heart hollow and tears streaming down his face.

 

He never told the other members about his dreams, it was easier to pretend they didn’t happen. He wondered if the other members could feel it too. If they often thought that Woojin didn’t belong, but were too nice to admit it.

 

He had often been plagued with doubts. Training for five years does that to people. But he thought debuting would quell those fears. Instead, it seemed like they increased, along with the dreams.

 

Now, he wouldn’t just see eyes or smiles, but hear their voices. Melodic voices singing, heavy voices rapping, strange English lilting in the background, loud giggling traveled through his dreams. It left a path in it’s wake of familiarity and memories that Woojin never had.

 

He woke up once again, tears streaming. He laid in bed, breathing deeply, willing his heart rate to go down. A voice singing lyrics he had never heard circled through his brain over and over again.

 

After awhile, he stood up, wiping his tears away. He ambled into the kitchen, wanting to eat breakfast before the members could wake up and see his puffy eyes.

 

He was met with Taeil, hair sticking up messily, and cutely munching on cereal. Woojin sighed. He guess they’d have to see him like this eventually. At least it was Taeil he ran into.

 

Taeil looked up and saw Woojin, eyes widening when he saw his red-rimmed eyes. He swallowed loudly and Woojin almost wanted to laugh at how panicked Taeil seemed.

 

“Woojin-ah! Have you been crying?” Taeil exclaimed, standing up.

 

Woojin motioned for him to sit down, and took a seat on the stool next to Taeil.

 

“Don’t worry, it was just a bad dream.”

 

Taeil hesitated, seeming unsure on what to say. “Well if you ever want to talk about it, I’m here.”

 

Woojin was glad Taeil hadn’t pushed the subject. He knew he would sound crazy if he tried to explain, so he was grateful Taeil wasn’t pushy.

 

 

Another month of promotions flew by. He was glad for the long days, as it helped distract him from the dreams. He was also just glad to be on stage, singing, and meeting the fans. He didn’t want promotions to end and for him to have to go back to the basement.

 

It was towards the end of their promotion period, the excitement of debut having officially dwindled down. He exited the waiting room, headed for the bathroom, when he saw them.

 

Two boys were currently walking towards NCT’s waiting room, signed album in hand. One was shorter with black hair. The other was taller, more lean with striking features.

 

He recognized their eyes, smiles, voices from his dreams. Memories flooded him that he know didn’t happen, and yet they felt so real.

 

_He was laughing, joy taking up every part of his body. He looked at the eight other boys, grinning. The shorter one ran to him. “Hyung, we’re debuting!” Woojin could see the taller one surrounded by the other boys. He looked happy, but most of all relieved. Like a weight had lifted off of him._

 

He blinked and the vision disappeared. The boys were still walking towards him, so Woojin did what any person would do. He bolted for the bathroom. He ran into it, locking himself in a stall.

 

He gasped for breath, heart pounding. He counted to ten, taking deep breaths. Every time, he blinked, he could see the two boys. He felt his panic rising.

 

He stayed in there for several minutes before deciding it should be safe to go back to the dressing room. He walked into the room cautiously, slowly stepping in. Luckily, it was devoid of the two boys.

 

“Oh, Woojin-ah! You just missed some of the guys from that new group, Stray Kids.” Taeyong exclaimed, waving their album in his hands.

 

“I really liked their song. We’ll have to introduce them to you if we run into them, hyung.” Mark said. Woojin prayed they wouldn’t be running into them anytime soon.

 

He nodded, trying to seem normal. A minute after he sat down, he felt Jungwoo sidle up to him.

 

“Hyung,” he whispered. “Are you okay?”

 

Woojin held his breath. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

 

Jungwoo pouted. “You can tell me, hyung. You seemed really frazzled when you came back.”

 

Woojin wanted to spill everything to Jungwoo right there. He and Jungwoo had always been close, and he knew Jungwoo wouldn’t judge him or think he was crazy. But he was still scared.

 

He closed his eyes. “I’ll tell you later, Jungwoo, I promise.”

 

Jungwoo said nothing, just clutched his arm a little tighter.

 

 

Woojin toweled his hair dry, eyes drooping shut. After running into those two boys, he had been emotionally drained, and still had a whole day of performances and recordings. It was already 1 AM, and he needed to sleep soon.

 

As he walked to his room, ready to sleep, a hand caught his elbow, dragging him to the living room.

 

He had thought that Jungwoo had somehow forgotten about his earlier incident. Unfortunately, he was wrong.

 

“Hyung!” Jungwoo whisper-yelled. “Now, you have to tell me what’s going on.”

 

Woojin paused, but then he saw Jungwoo’s puppy dog eyes. He guess he would have to tell him now.

 

They sat down on the couch, facing each other. Woojin averted his eyes. “I, uh, have been having these dreams lately.”

 

Jungwoo looked curious, eyes stemmed with interest.

 

Woojin continued. “They’re hard to explain but it’s like they’re memories? Except, I know I’ve never seen some of those things, part of me remembers them happening.”

 

Jungwoo broke in. “Sort of like deja-vu then?”

 

“I guess?” Woojin said, shrugging. “Anyways, the two boys from Stray Kids that came to our dressing room, I recognized them from my dreams. Even though, I’m certain I had never seen them before, they looked so familiar.”

 

Jungwoo sat wide-eyed as he finished talking. The room went silent for several seconds. Woojin felt his heart get heavier as the seconds passed.

 

Jungwoo opened his mouth then shut it again.

 

“Can you please say something so I don’t feel any worse.” Woojin finally said.

 

“I just— I don’t know what to say. I believe you, but what does it mean?” Jungwoo looked perplexed.

 

Woojin sighed. “I don’t know either. I’ve been trying to figure it out, but it doesn’t make sense.”

 

“I mean...” Jungwoo hesitated. “What are some of the dreams you’ve had? Do you remember?”

 

Woojin’s brows furrowed as he tried to recall his dreams. “Some of them are fuzzy. Like I’m seeing it through a foggy window and everything’s blurred.”

 

He put his head in his hands, desperate for another memory to unfold. As he closed his eyes, and focused on the darkness and the feel of his hands, a memory appeared. It was like the fog had been wiped away from a tiny portion of the window, so he could see enough to grasp the memory before it disappeared.

 

_A boy sat in front of him. He had orange hair and freckles adorning his face. He turned to Woojin, holding a piece of fried chicken. “Hyung, do you want the wing?” His voice held a strange accent, like he wasn’t from Korea. He felt himself nod and saw the smile blossom on the boy’s face. His heart felt lighter just looking at._

 

He lifted his head and relayed to Jungwoo what he had just remembered.

 

“I don’t understand. It’s not like these dreams are complex or terrifying. They’re just simple conversations.” Woojin said.

 

Jungwoo nodded. “I agree, it’s kind of weird.” His face turned serious. “Next time you have a dream, try writing it down somewhere, so you don’t forget.”

 

He reached over and grasped Woojin’s hand with both of his. “If we run into them again, don’t panic, okay? I’ll be right there with you. We’ll figure it out.”

 

Woojin smiled at Jungwoo. His heart felt almost as light as it had when the boy had smiled at him in his memory. Almost.

 

 

Woojin was on his way to the radio station, filling in for Jaehyun on Night Night Radio since he was sick. He wasn’t sure why they sent him, instead of another member, but he was grateful for any opportunity.

 

He smiled at Johnny, making his way to sit beside him.

 

“Woojin-ah! Here, get familiar with the script. Stray Kids is coming in today.”

 

Uh oh. He tried not to let the panic show on his face, gripping the table hard.

 

He tried to memorize the script, blocking out of his mind who he would be seeing soon. He took deep breaths and focused on Johnny’s presence beside him.

 

Johnny tapped his shoulder. “They’ve arrived. Let’s greet them.” Woojin nodded, standing up.

 

Eight boys filed in one after the other. Woojin bowed to each one as they came in, attempting to avoid eye contact.

 

The radio show started, and at first it went fine. He managed to remember the script and pretend like Stray Kids were nothing more than a new rookie group to him. His acting skills were getting better, at least.

 

It got to the portion where the boys would talk about who left the strongest first impression. It was a typical thing rookies talked about.

 

Minho and Changbin were talking about their interesting first meeting with Minho not realizing Changbin was a trainee. He laughed, but then as if on cue, his brain glitched. His vision blurred and suddenly he was on the other side of the table, with Stray Kids by his side.

 

_Chan was talking about his first impression of Woojin. He laughed at how Chan was intimidated by him at first, just because he looked strong. If anything, Chan was more intimidating, being the golden boy of JYP. He looked across the table and saw Jaehyun and Johnny. He smiled, reminiscing on his time with them. But he looked back at his team, glad he found where he belonged._

 

The vision ended and he tried not to freak out, or worse, cry. He focused intently on the rest of the interview, feeling as if he was about to burst if he looked at anyone for too long.

 

As soon as it ended and he made all of his formal goodbyes, he told Johnny he wasn’t feeling good and made his way home.

 

He practically ran to his room, jumping into his bed and covering his head with the blankets. Woojin took one shuddering breath before letting the tears out. He didn’t even know why he was crying.

 

He felt the bed dip, as someone sat on his bed. A warm hand ran up and down his back, calming him down. Another hand slid under the blanket, an silent offering. Woojin took it and tugged.

 

Woojin scooted closer to the wall as Jungwoo appeared under the covers. He offered a watery smile.

 

Jungwoo sighed, clutching his hand. “What happened?”

 

He angrily wiped his tears away with his free hand. “I took over Jaehyun’s place today for the radio show. Stray Kids showed up and I remembered something else that I know didn’t happen.”

 

Woojin felt Jungwoo squeeze his hand in comfort. “What was the memory that made you like this, huh?”

 

Jungwoo’s hand reached up to wipe a tear and Woojin closed his eyes. “I pictured myself sitting with Stray Kids, across from Jaehyun and Johnny hyung. I could even remember the first impression I had for one of the members.” Woojin swallowed hard. “I looked over at Jaehyun and Johnny hyung, and only saw them as old friends. Not team members.”

 

When he opened his eyes, he noticed Jungwoo’s eyes looked slightly teary. But something in them changed and turned fierce. “Don’t think about that Woojin. You debuted with us and not them, okay?”

 

Woojin nodded, but something in his heart twisted, like it wasn’t right.

 

Jungwoo clutched him a little harder, as if sensing his heart. “We’ll just try extra hard to avoid them.”

 

Part of Woojin didn’t want that. Part of him wanted to talk with the boys from Stray Kids for hours and feel how he does in his dreams. Full. Complete. Loved.

 

But the other part of him realized he would have to avoid them. He looked at Jungwoo and knew he would have to run away from them forever, if only to keep himself from crumbling.

 

 

As much as he tried to avoid them, they kept popping up. At music stages, radio shows, even at his regular coffee shop, he’d see glimpses of them. He was going crazy, with no end to his madness in sight.

 

He felt his nerves fraying, as he realized he would be attending ISAC with the rest of NCT today. Normally, he would have been excited to get to participate in something like this. But he knew at an event like this, he would end up seeing Stray Kids today. He dreaded it, lagging behind the rest of his members as they walked into the arena.

 

Jungwoo linked their arms together, dragging him along faster. “Don’t worry, hyung.” He whispered.

 

Woojin relaxed a little at his presence and nodded, smiling in thanks.

 

He was having fun, with Stray Kids pushed forcefully out of his mind. He got to watch other idols compete, play games, and just chill out and talk with his members and fans. It was a nice break, surprisingly.

 

However, he couldn’t avoid them forever. Half-way through the event, a face that had haunted his dreams appeared before him. He was lounging by himself, as Jungwoo participated in the soccer match.

 

From what he remembered from the radio show, the boy walking towards him was Jeongin. He looked so young and even had braces that Woojin could see when he smiled. He was screwed.

 

Jeongin approached him hesitantly. “Woojin hyung? My name is Jeongin from Stray Kids, I don’t know if you remember us?”

 

Woojin nodded, trying to avoid staring at the boy’s bright smile for too long.

 

“Oh! Then, do you want to come sit with us? We thought you looked lonely...” Jeongin trailed off, looking slightly awkward.

 

He felt himself nod before he could change his mind. Internally, he screamed at himself. Why had he said yes?

 

Slowly, he stood up, following Jeongin. He nodded hello to the rest of the team, feeling out of place.

 

He sat down next to Jeongin, relatively quiet as they chatted amongst themselves. He felt someone sidle up to his side, pressing close against him.

 

He turned and saw Hyunjin. The boy stared at him, eyes unblinking. Woojin coughed awkwardly.

 

This seemed to bring Hyunjin out of his stupor. He blinked several times, before blushing. “Oh! Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. It’s just— you look so familiar.”

 

Woojin froze. “Uh, well I did interview you at a radio show before?”

 

Hyunjin turned an even brighter red. “Sorry, I’m an idiot, I completely forgot.”

 

Woojin couldn’t help it. He laughed. Hyunjin was just too innocent and sweet. At his laughter, Hyunjin relaxed.

 

Conversation flowed a lot easier after that. Woojin didn’t feel as awkward any more, letting himself be comfortable in their presence. Something inside felt full with them. Like all of the members of NCT had been placed inside his heart jaggedly, cracks adorning it. He loved his members dearly, but he never felt whole.

 

But with these eight boys, he felt the cracks in his heart being filled.

 

“Hyung, can you sing for us?” Seungmin asked, eyes batting. He sighed and laid down on the arena floor, closing his eyes.

 

He started singing one of his favorite Day6 songs, I Smile.

 

As he sang, another memory floated through his mind, like tendrils across his closed eyes.

 

_His fingers glided across the piano keys as he soulfully sang I Smile. It was one of his favorite songs, so he wanted to learn how to play it on the piano as well. The song came to an end, and Woojin heard loud clapping behind him. He turned and saw Seungmin smiling widely._

_“Hyung! Teach me how to sing like you!”_

_He could feel himself blushing, and smiling up at Seungmin. He stood and playfully ruffled his hair._

_“Give it time, Minnie. You’ll be better than me one day!”_

 

The memory faded once again, and the song ended just as abruptly. A quiet laid over the group.

 

“You have a really beautiful voice, Woojin-hyung.” Chan said, looking solemn. “It sounded really sad just then.”

 

Woojin felt his throat growing tight. He tried to play it off, ignoring the burn in his eyes, signaling the want to cry. “Well,” He shrugged. “It’s a sad song.”

 

They all agreed, looking thoughtful. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jungwoo. He was gesturing rapidly for Woojin to come to him.

 

He stood up. “Sorry, guys. I have to head back with my members. I’ll talk to you later!” He smiled, waving goodbye.

 

“Wait!” A hand shot up, grabbing his arm. It was Jisung, his chubby cheeks looking even bigger as he pouted.

 

He held out a slip of paper with a list of kakaotalk ID’s scribbled on. “Make sure to text all of us! We’ll set up a groupchat.”

 

Woojin nodded, just so he wouldn’t have to witness Jisung looking sad.

 

He jogged up to Jungwoo, who immediately linked arms with him.

 

“Are you okay? Did anything happen?” Jungwoo asked frantically.

 

Woojin shook his head. “I had another vision, but it was fine. We just talked for awhile. They seem nice.”

 

Jungwoo relaxed. “You can tell me about the vision later, but I’m glad you’re okay. I was worried.”

 

Woojin smiled. “Stop worrying so much about me.” He reached over to ruffle Jungwoo’s hair, who pouted in response. “I’m the hyung, remember? I should be worrying about you.”

 

Jungwoo bumped him with his hip playfully. “Don’t tell anybody,” he whispered. “But you’re my favorite hyung. So I’m allowed to worry, okay?”

 

Woojin grinned and nodded. Talking with Jungwoo always made him feel loads better.

 

 

As the days went by, his dreams suddenly stopped. It was strange. Maybe it was because he had been talking to all the boys on kakaotalk a lot.

 

After a long day of schedules, coming back and seeing all the messages the boys had left in the groupchat warmed his heart. No matter how tired he was, their messages always made him smile or laugh.

 

It had been awhile since he had seen them in person though, and he was desperate for a chance to meet with them again.

 

The chance arose when they invited him to their concert in Seoul. He was excited, not only to spend time with them, but to see them perform. He had asked Chan if Jungwoo could come too, even though they weren’t as close. Chan agreed, luckily, so Woojin wouldn’t feel awkward going by himself.

 

They entered the concert hall, hats pulled far over their faces and wearing black masks. Being new, their faces weren’t extremely recognizable, but they wanted to be careful.

 

Woojin was enjoying himself. The songs were fun and he easily sang along, bouncing with Jungwoo in his seat. But, part of him couldn’t help but imagine himself on stage with the rest of Stray Kids.

 

He felt torn in two almost. Like he could feel himself sitting next to Jungwoo, singing along. But he also could feel himself on stage performing with the eight other boys.

 

The concert ended, and he waved goodbye to Jungwoo as he made his way backstage.

 

A body hurdled into him. “Hyung! Did you like it?”

 

Woojin laughed, looking down at Hyunjin clinging to him. “Of course I liked it. You guys were great!”

 

The rest of Stray Kids appeared behind him, all taking turns to give him hugs.

 

“Whenever NCT has a concert, you have to invite us, hyung!” Minho yelled excitedly.

 

Chan threw a towel at Minho’s head. “You can’t just invite yourself to someone else’s concert, dummy.”

 

Woojin laughed again. “Of course, I’ll invite you guys.”

 

Minho stuck his tongue out at Chan, who just chuckled in response.

 

“Ah, it’s getting late. You guys must be tired from the concert, so I should get going.” Woojin said, making his way to the door.

 

Jisung frowned and held onto Woojin’s sleeve. “But, hyung, you just got here. And we’re not that tired!”

 

Felix yawned just then, looking guilty after. Woojin looked at Jisung suspiciously. “I’m sure you’re not, Sungie. But it’s getting late and I still need to go home. We can hang out later, okay?”

 

All eight boys looked slightly downcast. Woojin sighed. “Seriously, guys. We can go out to dinner soon. But you guys need to rest.”

 

They all nodded in unison, looking a little happier. “As long as you pay for dinner, hyung.” Changbin said cheekily.

 

Woojin scoffed, moving a hand to playfully bat at Changbin’s head. “Whatever you say, shortie.”

 

“Yah, hyung! I thought you were supposed to be nice!” Changbin yelled, eyes wide. Woojin cackled at his response.

 

He said his final goodbyes and finally made his way home. As he went back to the dorms, he kept thinking about the dreams.

 

Why had they stopped? He wondered if they would come back again. He wondered if he wanted them to come back.

 

Woojin fell asleep quickly that night, tired from the concert. As if prompted from his thoughts, he had a dream that night.

 

Glimpses of memories flashed through his head as if he was watching his life go by.

 

_Woojin walked out of his old trainee dorm, hugging Jungwoo goodbye. He held a suitcase in his hand as he walked surely towards somewhere. He saw another dorm come into view, and felt himself smile._

_The memory faded as another one flashed across his eyes. He was sitting between eight boys, sweaty from practice. They were training for the showcase in order to debut. He could see the desperation in their eyes and he could feel it in his heart too._

_He waited tensely on stage next to the rest of the boys. It felt like the silence went on forever before JYP finally opened his mouth. “Congratulations, you’ll debut as nine.” He felt himself relax, and move to hug everyone. He laughed, pure joy pouring from him._

_Woojin was in between Stray Kids, staring at JYP as he talked to the MC’s of Idol Room. “He’s trained at SM for several years before coming to JYP, but he’s not the leader of the group.” He heard JYP say._

_He was at the ISAC’s again, sitting next to Stray Kids and Jungwoo. Except this time, his training suit matched Stray Kids instead of Jungwoo and the rest of NCT. He smiled at Jungwoo. “Long time, no see, hyung!” Jungwoo said. He laughed, squeezing his hand. “Well, you know, it’s hard to find time to meet up when NCT’s so popular.” Jungwoo blushed. “C’mon, hyung. Stray Kids are getting popular too.”_

_Memories continued flashing by. Woojin performing with Stray Kids at their debut showcase. Woojin sitting with Stray Kids in the dorm late at night, eating takeout. Woojin talking seriously with Chan, Woojin learning the choreography from Minho, Woojin teasing Changbin, Woojin comforting Jisung, Woojin cuddling Hyunjin, Woojin helping Felix with his Korean, Woojin singing with Seungmin, Woojin laughing at how cute Jeongin was. All of it flashed by quickly, almost like he was watching a movie._

 

He woke up, someone shaking his arm vigorously. His face was wet with tears. He felt so confused and lost. Everything in the dream had felt so real. Like he had lived that life before, and the one he was in now wasn’t real.

 

“Hyung!” Jungwoo whispered, worry visible on his face. “You’re okay, you’re okay.” He pet Woojin’s hair as he took shuddering breaths.

 

After Woojin had calmed down, they sat on his bed in silence, holding hands. “Another dream?” Jungwoo asked quietly.

 

Woojin nodded. He clutched Jungwoo’s hand tighter, as if it was his anchor in the real world. Except, he wasn’t sure if this was the real world at all.

 

“I don’t know what to do, Jungwoo-ah. I feel like I’m being split in two. Like, logically I know I’m a member of NCT, but my heart is saying I belong with them.”

 

Woojin hated himself for burdening Jungwoo with all this. He knew he was hurting him, basically telling Jungwoo that he didn’t belong in NCT. That he didn’t belong with him. Woojin felt Jungwoo’s head on his shoulder and pretended he didn’t feel the wetness that seeped onto his shirt from Jungwoo’s tears.

 

Jungwoo didn’t respond. Just held Woojin a little tighter.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! i’ll hoepfully post the next chapter soon.


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